FBI Ten Least Wanted Fugitives

CONSPIRACY AGAINST U.S. OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES; EXPRESSION OF SUPPORT FOR NON-NEOCONSERVATIVE POLITICS; VERBAL ATTACKS AGAINST THE WORLD'S WISEST MAN®, GEORGE W. BUSH;

Mikko Forsstrom

Photograph of 
Mikko Forsstrom
Date of Photograph Unknown

Aliases: Pekkis, Gaylord L. Lohiposki (interim CEO, Dr. Kobros Foundation), Abu Pekkis al-Martinlaakso, Peter Jordan[ov], Per von Bachman, Jorge Ramirez (CEO, Money-Loss Incorporated), Ludde Ingvall

DESCRIPTION

Date of Birth: 1978 Hair: Brown
Place of Birth: Finland Eyes: Grey
Height: 175 cm Complexion: White
Weight: 68 kg Sex: Male
Build: Normal Nationality: Finnish
Occupation: Renegade outlaw Evilness 7 Hi
Friends: Linus Torvalds, John Maynard Keynes, Richard Stallman
Nemeses: The Lotion Man, Tenhunen, Milton Friedman
Remarks: 

Forsstrom, who also calls himself Abu Pekkis, is the leader and only member of a widely-spread marxist terrorist organization known as The "Red Jihad". Red Jihad, allegedly a sleeper cell of al-Qaida, is constantly searching for new ways to undermine the legal government in his home country of Finland and ultimately to replace it with a radical leftist philosophy he calls "huotilism".

Forsstrom is the webmaster of a terrorism-related website called "Diktaattoriporssi". He is right-handed, and always dresses in his trademark evil balaclava.

A member of both the Axis Powers and the Axis of Evil, and the true criminal mastermind behind the chilren's criminal mastermind Fu Manchu, Forsstrom is a legendary force of evil to be reckoned.

Forsstrom has long been obsessed by the history of the 1900s, specifically it's many dictators. This, combined with his socialist tendencies, lead him down a path of terror and destruction.

Forsstrom, a master of disguise, is assumed to hide somewhere in the Finland, working as a renegade software developer. You can also buying some evil books at big bookstores or watching evil movies at the most evil movie theaters in Helsinki. He is also rumoured to be found in IRC, under some of his known aliases.

Forsstrom, a man with a dangerously short fuse, can easily be lured to expose his true identity. Shouting out fascist or capitalist propaganda is certain to provoke a violent reaction.

Scars and Marks: Forsstrom chopped off a part of one of his fingers on sixth grade, just to show his dedication to evil. A scar is still visible.

A piece was once missing from a front tooth, the proof of a disgusting habit of biting carpets. The latest sightings claim this to be fixed, though.

CAUTION

MIKKO FORSSTROM IS WANTED IN CONNECTION WITH THE CREATION OF A TERRORISM-RELATED WEBSITE "DIKTAATTORIPORSSI" DURING AND AFTER DECEMBER 1999. AFTER THAT, FORSSTROM HAS REPEATEDLY ATTACKED GEORGE W. BUSH, THE WORLD'S WISEST MAN®, VERBALLY THROUGH THIS WEBSITE. HE IS ALSO SUSPECTED OF CONSPIRATING WITH OVER THIRTY DICTATORS WORLDWIDE.

CONSIDERED UNARMED AND NOT DANGEROUS AT ALL. DO NOT APPROACH WITHOUT TERRORIST DETERRENT (CRUISE MISSILE CLASS RECOMMENDED).

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL FBI OFFICE, THE NEAREST U.S. EMBASSY OR CONSULATE OR YOUR LOCAL MERCENARY AUTHORITIES.

REWARD

The Rewards For Injustice Program, United States Department of Rogue State, is offering a reward of up to $1 for information leading directly to the apprehension and torture of Mikko Forsstrom, alive or in state of permanent death. Head must be presented before reward is paid.


January 2000
Revised May 2011.