CONSPIRACY AGAINST U.S. OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES;
EXPRESSION OF SUPPORT FOR NON-NEOCONSERVATIVE POLITICS;
VERBAL ATTACKS AGAINST THE WORLD'S WISEST MAN®, GEORGE W. BUSH;
Mikko Forsstrom

Date of Photograph Unknown |
| Aliases:
Pekkis, Gaylord L. Lohiposki (interim CEO, Dr. Kobros Foundation), Abu Pekkis al-Louhela, Peter Jordan[ov],
Per von Bachman, Jorge Ramirez (CEO, Money-Loss Incorporated), Ludde Ingvall, Keyser Söze |
DESCRIPTION
| Date of Birth: |
1978 |
Hair: |
Brown |
| Place of Birth: |
Finland |
Eyes: |
Grey |
| Height: |
175 cm |
Complexion: |
White |
| Weight: |
68 kg |
Sex: |
Male |
| Build: |
Normal |
Nationality: |
Finnish |
| Occupation: |
Renegade outlaw |
|
|
| Friends: |
Peter Jackson, Linus Torvalds, John Maynard Keynes, Richard Stallman
|
| Nemeses: |
Salvamies (Finnish for The Lotion Man), Bill Gates, Milton Friedman
|
| Remarks: |
Forsstrom, who also calls himself Abu Pekkis, is the leader and
only member of a widely-spread marxist terrorist organization known as The "Red Jihad".
Red Jihad, allegedly a sleeper cell of al-Qaida, is constantly searching for new ways to
undermine the legal government in his home country of Finland and ultimately to
replace it with a radical leftist philosophy he calls "huotilism".
Forsstrom is the webmaster of a terrorism-related website called
"Diktaattoriporssi". He is right-handed, and always dresses
in his trademark evil balaclava.
A member of both the Axis Powers and the
Axis of Evil, and the true criminal mastermind behind the chilren's criminal
mastermind Fu Manchu, Forsstrom is a legendary force of evil to be reckoned.
Forsstrom has long been obsessed by the history of the 1900s, specifically it's many dictators.
This, combined with his socialist tendencies, lead him down a path of terror
and destruction.
Forsstrom, a master of disguise, is assumed to hide somewhere in the Finland, working
as a renegade software developer. You can also spot him running or playing tennis, or
maybe buying some evil books at big bookstores. He is rumoured to be found in IRC, under some
of his known aliases.
Forsstrom, a man with a dangerously short fuse, can easily be lured to expose his true identity.
Shouting out neo-fascist... eh, neo-conservative ideas or making fun of Buffy, Galactica
or any other of his favourite TV series are certain to provoke a violent reaction.
|
| Scars and Marks: |
Forsstrom chopped off a part of one of his fingers on sixth grade, just to show his
dedication to evil. A scar is still visible.
A piece was once missing from a front tooth, the proof
of a disgusting habit of biting carpets. The latest sightings claim this to be fixed, though.
|
CAUTION
MIKKO FORSSTROM IS WANTED IN CONNECTION WITH THE CREATION OF A TERRORISM-RELATED
WEBSITE "DIKTAATTORIPORSSI" DURING AND AFTER DECEMBER 1999.
AFTER THAT, FORSSTROM HAS REPEATEDLY ATTACKED GEORGE W. BUSH, THE WORLD'S WISEST MAN®,
VERBALLY THROUGH THIS WEBSITE.
HE IS ALSO SUSPECTED OF CONSPIRATING WITH OVER THIRTY DICTATORS WORLDWIDE.
CONSIDERED UNARMED AND NOT DANGEROUS AT ALL.
DO NOT APPROACH WITHOUT TERRORIST DETERRENT (CRUISE MISSILE CLASS RECOMMENDED).
IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL FBI OFFICE,
THE NEAREST U.S. EMBASSY OR CONSULATE OR YOUR LOCAL MERCENARY AUTHORITIES.
REWARD
The Rewards For Injustice Program, United States Department of Rogue State, is offering a reward of
up to $1 for information leading directly to the apprehension and torture of Mikko Forsstrom,
alive or in state of permanent death. Head must be presented before reward is paid.
January 2000 Revised May 2011.
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